How'd I get on this mailing list?
I got a new clothes catalog in the mail yesterday -- Tracy Porter? Ever heard of it? It appears to cater to middle-aged mothers with lots of money, flocks of white geese on their big green lawns, and a penchant for olive silk and silver sequins. (This is not me. Geese?? Try rats. Oh yes, I know you're still there. And I'm going to kill you.)
For example: See right. Tracy Porter herself tell us, "Yes, those little wild men are ours...And yes, it's a ruckus when they're in the tub! Does the bathroom get soaked...? Pretty much. As for me in silk blouses...Let's just say I'm quick on my feet." And she should be, since her "notions of rapture silk blouse" is $225. (I swear, she uses the ellipse nearly as much as I do... and I don't like that!)
Even better: See left. "date night... ...[two in a row?? really??] when John & I steal a moment away from the divine racket that our sweet spirited boys so gleefully blast us with while we are home. I know you know....." [Yes, five dots.] Like Mrs. Porter, who changed her name, I see...I do like date night. But I rarely wear a $265 glimmering tunic, paired with $185 silvered jeans and $290 "star-gazing stilettos" to the movies.
As far as I can tell, Tracy Porter is a real person(a) who lives in Wisconsin with her husband John and four sons, and designs her own clothes. (And models them in videos on her website! That part is kinda cool.) But I'm not sure. Is Ann Taylor a real person? Is Johnny Boden?
Ha! So how did I get on this list?? I just know my subscription to Ireland of the Welcomes is the reason we're hearing from St. Vincent de Paul and his peeps. And I suspect that my Cook's Illustrated magazine is the reason we get all that mail for those poor people with obsessive-compulsive disorders. But this... Did they purchase a parent list from our overpriced DC-area music for toddlers class?? Hmm.
I'm just jealous, of course.
For example: See right. Tracy Porter herself tell us, "Yes, those little wild men are ours...And yes, it's a ruckus when they're in the tub! Does the bathroom get soaked...? Pretty much. As for me in silk blouses...Let's just say I'm quick on my feet." And she should be, since her "notions of rapture silk blouse" is $225. (I swear, she uses the ellipse nearly as much as I do... and I don't like that!)
Even better: See left. "date night... ...[two in a row?? really??] when John & I steal a moment away from the divine racket that our sweet spirited boys so gleefully blast us with while we are home. I know you know....." [Yes, five dots.] Like Mrs. Porter, who changed her name, I see...I do like date night. But I rarely wear a $265 glimmering tunic, paired with $185 silvered jeans and $290 "star-gazing stilettos" to the movies.As far as I can tell, Tracy Porter is a real person(a) who lives in Wisconsin with her husband John and four sons, and designs her own clothes. (And models them in videos on her website! That part is kinda cool.) But I'm not sure. Is Ann Taylor a real person? Is Johnny Boden?
Ha! So how did I get on this list?? I just know my subscription to Ireland of the Welcomes is the reason we're hearing from St. Vincent de Paul and his peeps. And I suspect that my Cook's Illustrated magazine is the reason we get all that mail for those poor people with obsessive-compulsive disorders. But this... Did they purchase a parent list from our overpriced DC-area music for toddlers class?? Hmm.
I'm just jealous, of course.
posted by Mary Ellen at
12:06 PM
4 Comments:
What, you don't bathe your children while wearing $200+ shirts that could be easily ruined by water? You're a nut! That's always how I do it :)
Perhaps the lack of the silk during bath tub time explains quite a bit. she is the mother of boys, not girls- that's the difference.
And Johnny Boden is real- he has a bio on his website!
Oh Gawd, it's a Stepford Wife!
I just got this catalog today and thought it was LOL horrible. In fact I came here through googling "awful tracy porter catalog" She used to design home furnishings that were cute but the clothing and the poses in this catalog were hilarious. And I am sure that on a Wisconsin farm she wears stilettos on a regular basis.
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