Millenials: Listen to me
I spent much of yesterday afternoon at a local university, talking to would-be interns for my office. Almost all were delightful! Plus, they catered pattypan squash and baby zukes with artichoke dip...
Some advice for the job seekers:
1) I love your sequin scarf! I really do. And I think the nose stud is... inevitable. But your exposed belly? Honey, it was 41 degrees this morning. Now I think you don't have any sense.
2) While we're talking about clothes -- I can't wait to tell my husband that I met a boy with a 28-inch waist and a 34-inch inseam. He will be jealous, I know it! (Not because, I hope, he wants to meet a boy with a 28-inch waist...) Wait a second! How do I know your waist measurement?? Hm. New pants, huh?
3) Finally, you -- the volunteer EMT -- you're creeping me out with your rapid, loud insistence that the job is "so much fun." And interesting? I ask. "Oh yeah, and really fun," you say. "Probably very rewarding too," I hint helpfully. "Yeah, it was just really fun," you repeat. Okay, really? Because when I call you because my beloved is dazed and bleeding, I don't want you to show up and say, "Wow! What a fun call!" But I'm such a downer that way.
4) Shake hands firmly. If your hands are sweaty, go wipe them on a cocktail napkin over there by the artichoke dip. (I'll let you in!) Don't give me that creepy fish handshake. I hate that!
5) When you say you're Greek, I think about hummus. Not Alpha Zeta whatever. And then, when I figure it out, I'm not nearly as excited as I was when I thought you might bring tabouli to the spring potluck.
6) If you eat all the artichoke dip, I'm not giving you nuthin either.
Some advice for the job seekers:
1) I love your sequin scarf! I really do. And I think the nose stud is... inevitable. But your exposed belly? Honey, it was 41 degrees this morning. Now I think you don't have any sense.
2) While we're talking about clothes -- I can't wait to tell my husband that I met a boy with a 28-inch waist and a 34-inch inseam. He will be jealous, I know it! (Not because, I hope, he wants to meet a boy with a 28-inch waist...) Wait a second! How do I know your waist measurement?? Hm. New pants, huh?
3) Finally, you -- the volunteer EMT -- you're creeping me out with your rapid, loud insistence that the job is "so much fun." And interesting? I ask. "Oh yeah, and really fun," you say. "Probably very rewarding too," I hint helpfully. "Yeah, it was just really fun," you repeat. Okay, really? Because when I call you because my beloved is dazed and bleeding, I don't want you to show up and say, "Wow! What a fun call!" But I'm such a downer that way.
4) Shake hands firmly. If your hands are sweaty, go wipe them on a cocktail napkin over there by the artichoke dip. (I'll let you in!) Don't give me that creepy fish handshake. I hate that!
5) When you say you're Greek, I think about hummus. Not Alpha Zeta whatever. And then, when I figure it out, I'm not nearly as excited as I was when I thought you might bring tabouli to the spring potluck.
6) If you eat all the artichoke dip, I'm not giving you nuthin either.
posted by Mary Ellen at
6:51 PM
1 Comments:
Millenials, huh? Is that what they're calling kids these days?
:)
Sounds "Fun!" in a sociological study kind of way.
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