free hit counter Snacks, please!: Millenials: Listen to me

Monday, October 20, 2008

Millenials: Listen to me

I spent much of yesterday afternoon at a local university, talking to would-be interns for my office. Almost all were delightful! Plus, they catered pattypan squash and baby zukes with artichoke dip...

Some advice for the job seekers:

1) I love your sequin scarf! I really do. And I think the nose stud is... inevitable. But your exposed belly? Honey, it was 41 degrees this morning. Now I think you don't have any sense.

2) While we're talking about clothes -- I can't wait to tell my husband that I met a boy with a 28-inch waist and a 34-inch inseam. He will be jealous, I know it! (Not because, I hope, he wants to meet a boy with a 28-inch waist...) Wait a second! How do I know your waist measurement?? Hm. New pants, huh?

3) Finally, you -- the volunteer EMT -- you're creeping me out with your rapid, loud insistence that the job is "so much fun." And interesting? I ask. "Oh yeah, and really fun," you say. "Probably very rewarding too," I hint helpfully. "Yeah, it was just really fun," you repeat. Okay, really? Because when I call you because my beloved is dazed and bleeding, I don't want you to show up and say, "Wow! What a fun call!" But I'm such a downer that way.

4) Shake hands firmly. If your hands are sweaty, go wipe them on a cocktail napkin over there by the artichoke dip. (I'll let you in!) Don't give me that creepy fish handshake. I hate that!

5) When you say you're Greek, I think about hummus. Not Alpha Zeta whatever. And then, when I figure it out, I'm not nearly as excited as I was when I thought you might bring tabouli to the spring potluck.

6) If you eat all the artichoke dip, I'm not giving you nuthin either.


Blogger Gwen said...

Millenials, huh? Is that what they're calling kids these days?


Sounds "Fun!" in a sociological study kind of way.

October 22, 2008 at 4:35 AM  

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