25 Things About ME
This is kind of like cheating...because I really wrote this for Facebook, where the order to self-indulge is floating around like that pink Teletubbies cloud. But. but! Some of you are not on Facebook! Some of you are actually crazy anti-Facebookers who say things like, "I just don't get it," while sipping martinis and chomping on roasted almonds. I'm looking at you, Auntie Pamela. It's also possible that some of you are on Facebook, but we're not friends? Is that right?? Hm. Conceivable, but I don't like it.
Anyhoo, I don't have time to actually blog about anything -- because the babies are throwing up and I need to go have a meeting at the coffeehouse and I'm losing all of my Lexulous games.
So here goes.
1) First of all, it's Mary Ellen. Not Mary. Facebook is discriminating against the Catholic girls of the 1960s-70s! Mary Ellen? Mary Lou? Mary Anne? Jane? Jo? Fran? Pat? Maybe I should start a petition.
2) Speaking of names, I did not change my last name.
3) I am trying really really hard not to say anything else about names. So as not to sound insane.
4) Ohhh, but while I'm at it, the girlies are Lucy Margaret, Margaret Carol and Josephine Patricia. And yes, they have a hyphenated last name. And yes, I know it's long! When they grow up, they can change it if they really want to. You know, if they want to betray the revolution and break my heart. (oh dear, did that sound insane?? I have a hard time judging....) oh, fine!! I will still love them. Ha. More than anything else on this Earth.
5) I actually promised the Mother of God that I'd name the littlest baby Mary Margaret if she beat the odds, but then I didn't do it. I worry about this a little bit.
6) I'm not actually superstitious, but I do believe in luck and I think I have a whole lot of it. The extraordinarily good kind. Also, I see signs. Not the regular ones. More like suicidal birds and old men.
7) Speaking of such, the day of my wedding, as I was waiting to walk down the aisle with my father -- or, actually, up the path to the beach -- an old guy in a bathing suit and towel came up to me and said, "You don't have to do it!" And I thought, "Oh no! Is he an angel? Was he sent from God?" But I thought, weeelll, most likely not. Right? (Right?!) And so I laughed and walked on. And I am really really glad about that.
8) When I met my husband, I was pretty sure he was gay. Proof: The pet greyhound, the talk about "antiquing on Southern Boulevard", the same-sex housemate with funky shoes, and the passing acquaintance with my housemate, who really is gay. What I don't understand is, he thought I was gay too...
9) My wedding was awesome. We had the sauce-mixing ceremony, the oyster-shucking men, Cape Cod Bay, Irish music, Vietnamese hand rolls and almost all of my favorite people. I'd like to do it again. You all can come.
10) I always wanted a lot of babies. Is three a lot? Maybe. Maybe not... I do know that they are just as much fun as I thought they'd be and I'd pretty much rather spend time with them than anybody else on Earth.
11) No epidural. You don't need one. But do demand juice.
12) It's been 11 years and I still miss my grandmother terribly. It kills me that she can't make meatballs for my daughters, hold them in her rocking chair, and tell them stories about bad little dogs and good little girls.
13) When I was a kid, I told everybody that I wanted a job like my father, where I could drive around all day and stop for a coffee when I felt like it. For a while, that's exactly what I did! And I loved it.
14) Still, my almost-favorite job was tending bar. One night, an old guy at the bar pocketed somebody else's change and I jumped over the bar and chased him down Maple Avenue. "I know the owner!" he protested. "So do I, buddy! He's my father!" I said. He gave me back the money, and it turned out he was the guy who introduced my parents. I am willing to believe he made an honest mistake.
15) I entertain a lot of stories in my head -- and one of my favorites is, "Where I'd go if I was on the run from the law." Probably not Ireland. I think I could hide there, but they'd trace the passport. Not a hotel -- they always want credit cards. I'd have to find a friend to take me in, and it would have to be somebody the feds would never ever think of. (It's always the feds.) That is, it couldn't be one of my very best friends...but it would have to be somebody who'd say yes, without question, and never think of turning me in. I have some good candidates. Of course I prefer not to say who exactly... (Feel free to tell me if you'd like to be on that list. I will make a note -- but not on paper!!)
16) Here's what I hate in people: Hypocrisy. Self-indulgence. Whining. Here's what I do like: Loyalty. Funnies. A willingness to eat my food. And play with my children. I do believe you should judge people by their best actions, not their worst. But I don't necessarily expect you all to do that for me.
17) Back in high school, the most fun was late nights at the LOG office. Then in college, the most fun was late nights at the Irish Times. And graduate school? Sorta like a combination of those two things. Speaking of late nights, I hope that my children use better judgment than I have.
18) You may be surprised to know that I can check the sheep for worms.
19) Aha! When I was a little girl, I thought for sure that I had been impregnated by God with the second coming of Christ. I had no idea how I would tell my parents. I knew it would be difficult to explain.
20) You know how kids can get so absorbed in a book that they can't hear you talking to them? I was like that -- Narnia, Anne of Green Gables... I've never outgrown that. And I do appreciate your patience, honey.
21) There's a handful of people that I call honey -- so much so that their real names, when I feel like I have to use them, feel weird in my mouth.
22) If I could design my ideal day, I'd have a whole lot of sand chairs out on the second bar in Cape Cod Bay. (Sand bar, that is.) And I'd have my whole family out there -- Ma, Dad, sisters, brother, spouses, and all the kiddos. And we'd play in the tidal pool and eat red grapes and talk about food, which is pretty much my favorite thing to talk about. And, if it wasn't too windy, we could play Setback!! We are the only people I know who play Setback.
23) I miss motorcycle rides to the middle of nowhere. But I don't want to orphan the children. Although, if I did, I think they'd be happy living with my sister Sharon, who is as near to me as you can get. Except the tattoo, which she doesn't have. And the fat, which she refuses to eat. And she doesn't like 80s music quite as much. Or public schools. She also cleans way more. And runs waaay faster. Not to mention, I think she's a wee bit bossier. But aside from all that...
24) I have never done a cartwheel. Not once in my life. And, even though I'm not quite as round as I used to be, I'm starting to think it's too late for me.
25) A few years after I moved to Florida, a friend of mine died. He was somebody I had known for a long long time, who lived up the street, who took my best friend to the prom, who helped my mother decorate her Christmas cookies. I think he saw it coming (although I didn't) -- and he had spent the last few years of life traveling around the world, visiting friends, giving big hugs and making sure we all knew we mattered. I would like to live my life like that, but I'm afraid I'm not very good at it.
Anyhoo, I don't have time to actually blog about anything -- because the babies are throwing up and I need to go have a meeting at the coffeehouse and I'm losing all of my Lexulous games.
So here goes.
1) First of all, it's Mary Ellen. Not Mary. Facebook is discriminating against the Catholic girls of the 1960s-70s! Mary Ellen? Mary Lou? Mary Anne? Jane? Jo? Fran? Pat? Maybe I should start a petition.
2) Speaking of names, I did not change my last name.
3) I am trying really really hard not to say anything else about names. So as not to sound insane.
4) Ohhh, but while I'm at it, the girlies are Lucy Margaret, Margaret Carol and Josephine Patricia. And yes, they have a hyphenated last name. And yes, I know it's long! When they grow up, they can change it if they really want to. You know, if they want to betray the revolution and break my heart. (oh dear, did that sound insane?? I have a hard time judging....) oh, fine!! I will still love them. Ha. More than anything else on this Earth.
5) I actually promised the Mother of God that I'd name the littlest baby Mary Margaret if she beat the odds, but then I didn't do it. I worry about this a little bit.
6) I'm not actually superstitious, but I do believe in luck and I think I have a whole lot of it. The extraordinarily good kind. Also, I see signs. Not the regular ones. More like suicidal birds and old men.
7) Speaking of such, the day of my wedding, as I was waiting to walk down the aisle with my father -- or, actually, up the path to the beach -- an old guy in a bathing suit and towel came up to me and said, "You don't have to do it!" And I thought, "Oh no! Is he an angel? Was he sent from God?" But I thought, weeelll, most likely not. Right? (Right?!) And so I laughed and walked on. And I am really really glad about that.
8) When I met my husband, I was pretty sure he was gay. Proof: The pet greyhound, the talk about "antiquing on Southern Boulevard", the same-sex housemate with funky shoes, and the passing acquaintance with my housemate, who really is gay. What I don't understand is, he thought I was gay too...
9) My wedding was awesome. We had the sauce-mixing ceremony, the oyster-shucking men, Cape Cod Bay, Irish music, Vietnamese hand rolls and almost all of my favorite people. I'd like to do it again. You all can come.
10) I always wanted a lot of babies. Is three a lot? Maybe. Maybe not... I do know that they are just as much fun as I thought they'd be and I'd pretty much rather spend time with them than anybody else on Earth.
11) No epidural. You don't need one. But do demand juice.
12) It's been 11 years and I still miss my grandmother terribly. It kills me that she can't make meatballs for my daughters, hold them in her rocking chair, and tell them stories about bad little dogs and good little girls.
13) When I was a kid, I told everybody that I wanted a job like my father, where I could drive around all day and stop for a coffee when I felt like it. For a while, that's exactly what I did! And I loved it.
14) Still, my almost-favorite job was tending bar. One night, an old guy at the bar pocketed somebody else's change and I jumped over the bar and chased him down Maple Avenue. "I know the owner!" he protested. "So do I, buddy! He's my father!" I said. He gave me back the money, and it turned out he was the guy who introduced my parents. I am willing to believe he made an honest mistake.
15) I entertain a lot of stories in my head -- and one of my favorites is, "Where I'd go if I was on the run from the law." Probably not Ireland. I think I could hide there, but they'd trace the passport. Not a hotel -- they always want credit cards. I'd have to find a friend to take me in, and it would have to be somebody the feds would never ever think of. (It's always the feds.) That is, it couldn't be one of my very best friends...but it would have to be somebody who'd say yes, without question, and never think of turning me in. I have some good candidates. Of course I prefer not to say who exactly... (Feel free to tell me if you'd like to be on that list. I will make a note -- but not on paper!!)
16) Here's what I hate in people: Hypocrisy. Self-indulgence. Whining. Here's what I do like: Loyalty. Funnies. A willingness to eat my food. And play with my children. I do believe you should judge people by their best actions, not their worst. But I don't necessarily expect you all to do that for me.
17) Back in high school, the most fun was late nights at the LOG office. Then in college, the most fun was late nights at the Irish Times. And graduate school? Sorta like a combination of those two things. Speaking of late nights, I hope that my children use better judgment than I have.
18) You may be surprised to know that I can check the sheep for worms.
19) Aha! When I was a little girl, I thought for sure that I had been impregnated by God with the second coming of Christ. I had no idea how I would tell my parents. I knew it would be difficult to explain.
20) You know how kids can get so absorbed in a book that they can't hear you talking to them? I was like that -- Narnia, Anne of Green Gables... I've never outgrown that. And I do appreciate your patience, honey.
21) There's a handful of people that I call honey -- so much so that their real names, when I feel like I have to use them, feel weird in my mouth.
22) If I could design my ideal day, I'd have a whole lot of sand chairs out on the second bar in Cape Cod Bay. (Sand bar, that is.) And I'd have my whole family out there -- Ma, Dad, sisters, brother, spouses, and all the kiddos. And we'd play in the tidal pool and eat red grapes and talk about food, which is pretty much my favorite thing to talk about. And, if it wasn't too windy, we could play Setback!! We are the only people I know who play Setback.
23) I miss motorcycle rides to the middle of nowhere. But I don't want to orphan the children. Although, if I did, I think they'd be happy living with my sister Sharon, who is as near to me as you can get. Except the tattoo, which she doesn't have. And the fat, which she refuses to eat. And she doesn't like 80s music quite as much. Or public schools. She also cleans way more. And runs waaay faster. Not to mention, I think she's a wee bit bossier. But aside from all that...
24) I have never done a cartwheel. Not once in my life. And, even though I'm not quite as round as I used to be, I'm starting to think it's too late for me.
25) A few years after I moved to Florida, a friend of mine died. He was somebody I had known for a long long time, who lived up the street, who took my best friend to the prom, who helped my mother decorate her Christmas cookies. I think he saw it coming (although I didn't) -- and he had spent the last few years of life traveling around the world, visiting friends, giving big hugs and making sure we all knew we mattered. I would like to live my life like that, but I'm afraid I'm not very good at it.
posted by Mary Ellen at
11:21 AM
4 Comments:
Don't you just hate the list thing??? Took me DAYS to come up with mine and it sounds...braggy. I LOVE yours however. And I still want your kids. Seriously.
I miss Nan, too.
And I'm only bossy when I need to be.
Someone discovered your blog-- have you gone back and edited?
That's quite a list! But please don't die. Even if you broke a promise to God!
no whining??? i'm out...
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