Check, check, check

Got Moo. Got Kitty. Got Ducky blankie. Got stripey blankie.
One bouncy seat. One playmat. Two strollers.
One Democrat t-shirt. One pig t-shirt. (Not the same thing!!)
Nine bathing suits.
Forty-eight diapers. (We'll need more soon!)
And, oh yes, three girls.
We're off to Cape Cod!

And, because my parents haven't yet traveled these series of tubes, I probably won't be back here until the second week of August. See you then!

On second thought

Remember what I just said about Lucy's tenderness as a big sister? Well, how about this: "Help me, Mama." What? "I need to put Margaret in this bag." What??! "I'm Santa Claus!" she said. And you're giving Margaret away?? "Yes."

Things Seen and Unseen

Finally! I saw Josephine roll over! At least, I think I did. It was 4 a.m., tired, dark, etc. Plus, she's a speedy one. But I think I saw it. Go, Josephine! I asked her about it later, but she's a regularly Dick Cheney about her personal information. "Tell me," I pleaded. "Did you -- or did you not -- roll over last night??"

"Aboo!" she said. And smiled.

What does that mean???!

Speaking of things unseen, a couple of days ago Lucy was storming through the kitchen, waving her favorite orange fly swatter and screeching, "Get away, demon!" Umm. what??? "Get away, DEMON!" she repeated sternly.

Repeat: There was no fly nearby.

I'm fairly certain that exorcism is a skill that will prove very useful to her in later life, especially if she runs into one of the "Crazy Bosses" described in Stephen Bing's new book. Indeed, I'm thinking that I might... well, enough said. In any case, she doesn't often see demons. (She's not THAT Irish.) More often it's a gorilla in the living room that threatens to BITE HER TUSHIE. Those gorillas!! (And that was before she saw it eating poop at the zoo last weekend. How did she know they like that sort of thing?!)

What else? Yesterday Lucy and I went to see her ear specialist. But first she threw up in his bathroom. Sigh. Of course I did not have an extra shirt for her. Of course there were no more paper towels in the bathroom. You try cleaning up a 2T tank with toilet paper and foaming hand soap... Not easy.

Then later, I found Lucy in the babies' crib, stretched out next to Josephine, holding the baby's hand and patting her little belly. She is a very good big sister. I said, "I think Josephine needs a bottle." "NO," Lucy told me. "She needs me."

To my NJ folks: What do you think about the Science Discovery Museum in Cherry Hill? A good place for us to stop tomorrow? Or maybe the Camden Children's Garden??

With a side of bacon, please

Last night, I was lying (or laying? I can never keep those straight) in bed, thinking of all the things that I have to do before we leave for vacation. And I thought, "Oh my. I have a lot of running around to do." And then I thought, "Yes, indeed. If I were an egg, I would be a scrambled egg."
Ha! A scrambled egg!
Ten years ago, I was a fried egg.
Someday, hopefully, I'd like to be a coddled egg.

I'll take a wrench to that Romanian girl!

Last week, we put the girls to bed in their crib. Woo, relief. They fell right asleep. Later, after eating peach crisp with some friends, I went back to check on them... and Josephine was asleep on her back! What's this??! I know I had put her to sleep on her belly! Hmm. I wondered -- was it possible that one of our guests, a third-year medical student, had become so alarmed at the sight of a baby on her belly that he had pretended to go to the loo, but actually snuck into her room and soundlessly flipped her over? It was possible. A little crazy, maybe, but definitely POSSIBLE.

So I didn't say anything.

Since then, it's become clear that Josephine is a gymnast in the making! I mean, really, whoever heard of a barely 3-month-old baby (I adjust their age, when convenient...) flipping over! I am so proud! I'm also a little peeved. She NEVER EVER rolls over when I am present!

And then, this morning, Margaret appeared on her back! Big Margaret! She of the poor muscle tone! The girl whose previous attempts at self-directed navigation had amounted to this: "Turn me over!! I'm done here! MOMMY! DADDY! You, bigger girl! I'm losing my patience! NOW!!!!"

So it's clear that they don't take after me. Thirty-five years old and I have never done a cartwheel and, as the years go by, it seems like I never will. Sniff. I will live vicariously through them. We'll mount the parallel bars together.

Shhh, don't spoil the ending!

I am #436 in the queue for a library copy of the new Harry Potter book.

Is that a popsicle??

My sister and her 9-year-old just left.
The highlights of their visit:
Somebody else did the 3 a.m. feeding!
Lucy learned the words to Party Like a Rockstar.
We saw the gorilla eating his own poop!

The long drive home...

As some of you know, we're driving to Cape Cod next week.... TEN HOURS!!!! So, let's review how the hour-long ride from Baltimore to Arlington went yesterday.
1 p.m.: Get in car.
1:05 p.m.: Uh-oh, gas light on! Stop for gas. Pull into station, stop the car, hop out. Realize gas tank is on the other side of massive minivan. Get back in. Do a U-turn. Stop and hop again. Of course, Lucy insists on helping, i.e. standing there with a small hand on the pump, repeating, "I'm helping Mommy! I'm helping! No!! I do it!!" and then scampering around the front seat demanding, "I drive home!" And then, inexplicably, "I want pockcorn!"
1:20 p.m.: Get on highway.
1:22 p.m.: "Mommy! I dintdint want to leave Jake's house, Mommy!"
1:23 p.m.: "Mommy! I drop my shoe! I need my shoe! I need it!!"
1:24 p.m.: "Mommy! Look! That car! Why it no have top?"
1:25 p.m.: "But, but, I want the wind in my hair too!"
1:26 p.m.: "Mommy! I dintdint want to leave Jake's house! I jus, I jus, I jus dintdint!"
1:27 p.m.: "Mommy! I tired."
Silence.
1:43 p.m.: "Mommy! I need to poop!"
1:44 p.m.: "Poop! Stay in there!"
(Massive calculations going on in driver's head. How long can 2-year-old hold poop? Hm. Not long. How long can babies stay quiet? Hm. Not long -- especially if we stop the car... Should driver go to McDonald's, take all three into bathroom? Would driver be forced to buy chicken nuggets? Would babies scream? Yes, and yes. Oh dear.)
1:58 p.m.: "Mommy! I need to poop!"
2:00 p.m.: Quick exit from DC Beltway into residential area. No McDonalds. Look for wooded area instead. Check glove compartment. Bingo! Napkins! Stop minivan. And...(Note to readers: Not for the squeamish or dog-walkers...) Hold Lucy so that she can poooooop on the side of the road.
2:05 p.m.: Back on Beltway. Babies are screaming!!!
2:07 p.m.: Intense summer rainstorm. Must stop speeding!!
2:08 p.m.: "Mommy! The babies cryin!!"
2:09 p.m.: SREEEEEEAM!
2:12 p.m.: "Mommy! I can't listen anymore!!"
2:13 p.m.: All three begin sobbing.
2:15 p.m.: There's no place like home!!

Move over, Mr Baskin!

There are SEVEN flavors of ice cream in my freezer right now: Rocky road, strawberry, pistachio, and chunky monkey, plus three of Auntie Pamela's homemade concoctions, including chocolate hazelnut and coconut chip. For you, it's just 25 cents a cone!!

Proof that I spent too much money on that dress for the bar mitzvah...

They sent me a thank-you card!! And yet, it appears that I'm not the fashion-obsessed woman of the house. That would be Lucy, who informed me yesterday that she needs a new pair of green Crocs. (And we don't even let her watch commercial television!)
"You have yellow Crocs! And I'm not getting you another pair."
"But, but, the yellow ones are getting a little bit too BIG! I need new ones. I just need green ones -- like that balloon."
"Your yellow ones are not getting too big, Lulu. They fit perfectly and they look very nice."
"But, but, I need green shoes."
"You have green sandals."
"But, but, I need green Crocs!"
"No, Mommy has no money.
Silence.

This started because I told her we were going to Nordstroms (oh, how I love Nordstroms) to buy ME a pair of Crocs. Yes, I know they're ugly...but I think they'll be handy at the beach. I hate flip-flops. Indeed, I have NEVER owned a pair. So, off we go -- me and Lucy and M & J -- and stroll over to the BP shoes department. (What does that mean?? Bery Pretty?)
She says, "You want yellow ones, like me?"
"Naah, maybe pink ones."
"No. You want yellow ones, like me?"
"I don't think so. How about green?"
"No. You want yellow ones, like me?"
"Well, maybe I won't get Crocs at all. How about these cool blue shoes?"
"No. You want yellow ones, like me?"
"YES! I think I do! I want yellow ones like you!"
"Put them on now, Mommy."

Anybody gotta go?

"You need to use the potty before we go to the library."
NO!
"Lucy, Mommy is not going to be able to take you to the potty at the library, so you have to go now."
WHY?
"Because we'll have Margaret and Josephine, and our stroller won't fit in the potty."
WHY?
"You have to pee now."
I DON'T HAVE TO!
"Well, you have to try."
Tussle. Tears. Defeat.

And so, off we go, Lucy and M in the double stroller and J in the Bjorn. We get to the library. Unclip the girls in the stroller. Put M on hip. Lucy refuses to carry the books in. Sigh. We get inside, begin reviewing movie rental choices. How about Blue's Big Band? Lucy? Lucy?
"I gotta pee, Mommy."
Margaret starts to scream.
Oh, the sympathetic stares...Why are there so many mommies in the library on a Monday morning? Don't you people work?? Margaret does not want to go to the library today, I announce loudly. Someone laughs nervously. Flip Margaret into fat cheetah on a tree limb pose. She frets. She hates books. Is she mine?

The bathroom is two floors up. No elevator. Come on, Lucy. Kick open door with foot. Ooh, heavy! Short seat, hooray! Lucy, you need to scooch up there yourself. I CAN'T! Well, you gotta try! Margaret starts screaming again. Oww! The echo!! Crouch in front of toilet. Push Lucy up and back with one hand. Hold Margaret with other. Josephine's body begins tipping perilously toward water. Lucy pees. And pees. And pees. (We left the house 10 minutes ago...and she didn't have to pee then?! I've been had!) Begins pulling toilet paper. More paper. More paper. Okay, enough paper!

We leave the bathroom with Lucy's skirt tucked in her undies.
Check out Blue's Big Band and another Madeline book.
Go get ice cream.

*In the photo above, Lucy is doing her best to convince Margaret that BOOKS ARE GOOD. "This a very good book, Margrip. See?" she says. "I read it to you. That be nice?"

You've Got Mail!

My 17-year-old niece left us yesterday, after a week of entertaining Lucy, changing diapers and taking endless cell-phone pictures of the cutest three girls ever. She was a great help. And Lucy is very sad that she's gone now. They went strolling for ice cream yesterday and the scooper asked Lucy if this was her mommy. (She looks like she's 15!!) And Lucy said, "She's not my mommy! She's my Sarah!" I'm trying to convince her to apply to some colleges in DC, but she doesn't want to leave her best friend in New Hampshire... Considering BFF has a 1.6 GPA, I think their options are somewhat limited.

Anyway, I was worried that she might be bored -- or that she might miss her friends at home, but she never left them! She's addicted to her cell phone! Not so much the talking part (at least while we're around...), but the text-messaging part. She came out of the shower with it tucked into her towel. She slept with it. I swear, she's going to get one of those weird Atari thumb diseases.

Fortunately, for your enjoyment, I managed to capture a few of those messages.

#1: In DC!! Dingleberry cabby no speak English. OMG. I'm lost.

#5: Cutest babies ever!! I want one!!

#32: Baby crying. Gotta go.

#42: Can't talk! Baby still crying!!

#87: At playground. Wore bikina for nada. Where da boys?!

#105: At pool. Other mommy doesn't shave. Anywhere!!

#106: Aunt says it's liberating. WTF??!

#169: Going to Georgetown! By myself! Urban Outfitters here I come!!

#205: Spent cab fare on new shorts. That's whacked.

#280: Talking to strangers! Said I'm au pair from Sweden.

#363: My cousins love me :)

#408: Aunt bugging me about college. La-la-la!

#468: At zoo. Saw your cousin in monkey house. LOL.

#501: Ummm. Pancakes.

#622: All three crying!! OMG! I'm crying too, I swear.

#654: Too tired to talk.

#708: Crying again.

#765: Still crying.

#766: Changed mind about babies. Not for me.

#805: Coming home! Get the party started!

#888: Miss babies ;)