free hit counter Snacks, please!: Hooking up

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Hooking up

LinkedIn is like Facebook for thirtysomethings. It pretends to be professional and nobody posts photographs of themselves in St. Paulie Girl costumes. I think it's sort of new -- or I'm sorta out of it.

Anyway, about a month ago, an old colleague sent me an invitation to join. Mostly, I was dismissive because I'm not so much of a professional networker. I keep in touch with the people I keep in touch with because I like them, not because I hope they'll get me a job someday in the Cape Cod regional office of the Boston Globe. (Or the Dublin office, maybe????) But I accepted her invite, of course, because it's like a cyber-RSVP and I would not want to be discourteous.

But then! Then I had ONE connection! Oh, good God. Like one friend? In the whole wide world? Hm. Thankfully, another two invites were quickly delivered. And so then I had three. Like THREE friends in the whole wide world? Hm. Pathetic. So, I had to send some invitations myself. "Oh, if I could just have double-digit friends," I thought. "That would be respectable."

Now, quite frankly, I am obsessed. The network handily provides long lists of fellow alumni and current and former colleagues. I see old friends with nearly 100 connections, NOT including me!

What the hell? We're not friends anymore?

Who to invite, who to invite... Some old friends are here, but many are too cool for school. (Auntie Pamela says, "I just don't get it.") I would just circle up everybody I know, but I wonder, maybe not everybody wants to be my linkedup friend. (Could that be true?!) So I must be judicious in my invitations. What if somebody turns me down? I would be transported right back to third grade, when Michelle Skowronek, who I thought was my best friend, told me that the set of birthday party invites that her mother bought at the Bradlee's mall had just eight, not NINE, and so I could not go to her pizza-making party at Papa Gino's. Sigh.

Oh, I have a new invite! Oh my God. He has 223 friends!

I find old high school pals that I haven't talked to in years. I'd love to catch up with them but this seems like a cheap offer. (Oh, what the hell...) I see an old college classmate, somebody I didn't really know, except to say, "Sarah is not home," when he came knocking for my runway model roommate. Once an attorney, now he breeds half-a-million dollar thoroughbred horses!

My doctor pals are not participating. Oh, another old classmate! She's a magazine food editor now!! (If only we didn't eat squirt cheese. Then I could be a member of the food elite.)

This is why the teenagers are so crazy, isn't it? These sites are unnerving! And, since I'm not selling horses, I do wonder what the point is. Getting a new job? Hm. Don't need one. I do have my eye on a fabulous $350 gold gnome table, yes, I said GNOME table, so perhaps freelance work would be welcome...

Oh, wow! I'm connected to Barack Obama! (But I'm still voting for John Edwards.) Four people in my circle are linked to people in Barack's circle (which is not particularly exclusive at 500-plus members.) That is interesting. Mike Huckabee has just one connection. That is not very good. Hillary is not even participating, which just goes to show you...something.

Obsessed. I am obsessed.


Blogger RandomReality said...

Haha! This is so true! At first, I was annoyed and kept thinking: "Why are all these people bugging me with this stupid LinkedIn?" And now I am all about getting my numbers up. Did you see that Chris Hain is selling real estate in HOLLYWOOD? Yes. Oh and I DO have a picture. You can add one. I want ex-boyfriends to look me up and be insane with jealousy and loss.

December 4, 2007 at 9:01 AM  
Anonymous Jane said...

I think you should ask Lucy what she would do to get more friends. Could be fun or funny.

December 4, 2007 at 6:54 PM  

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