Conversations with Lucy, cont.
The other day Lucy and I were playing, "Let's Pretend I'm a Policeman and You're the Lady Driver," which is not quite as good as "I'm the Teacher and You're the Little Girl," or "I'm the doctor, now lay down!" but it's not too bad either...
"Wheer, wheer wheer!" (My siren noise.) "Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?" I demanded. A defiant Lucy answered: "No!"
"Because you're driving too fast! And we don't want any accidents!" I shouted. "This time, I'll let you go with a warning. You're a very lucky lady driver!" I said. "Next time I'm a gonna want some money!"
She laughed and then asked me, "Policeman, do you have any babies?" (Excellent question!) I have three babies, I told her. All boys! And they're very naughty. They yell and they push and they don't eat dinner -- and I don't know what to do. "What do you think I should do?"
She thought a moment: "Lan them," she suggested.
What?
"Lan them!"
"Ground* them?" I guessed.
"Yes!"
***
Last night, Lucy started moaning in her bed around 9 p.m., so I went to see what was wrong. "I'm sick!" she cried. (Which I thought might actually be true -- the babies have been sick for the past week with terribly runny noses.) "Do you need some medicine?" I asked.
"Yesssss," she moaned. "I need pockcorn."
"Popcorn? Popcorn is not medicine," I said, in my severe Mommy voice.
"Yeeees! I am a kind of sick that a leetle bit of pockcorn will make me feel better!"
* I have never ever said anything about grounding!
"Wheer, wheer wheer!" (My siren noise.) "Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?" I demanded. A defiant Lucy answered: "No!"
"Because you're driving too fast! And we don't want any accidents!" I shouted. "This time, I'll let you go with a warning. You're a very lucky lady driver!" I said. "Next time I'm a gonna want some money!"
She laughed and then asked me, "Policeman, do you have any babies?" (Excellent question!) I have three babies, I told her. All boys! And they're very naughty. They yell and they push and they don't eat dinner -- and I don't know what to do. "What do you think I should do?"
She thought a moment: "Lan them," she suggested.
What?
"Lan them!"
"Ground* them?" I guessed.
"Yes!"
***
Last night, Lucy started moaning in her bed around 9 p.m., so I went to see what was wrong. "I'm sick!" she cried. (Which I thought might actually be true -- the babies have been sick for the past week with terribly runny noses.) "Do you need some medicine?" I asked.
"Yesssss," she moaned. "I need pockcorn."
"Popcorn? Popcorn is not medicine," I said, in my severe Mommy voice.
"Yeeees! I am a kind of sick that a leetle bit of pockcorn will make me feel better!"
* I have never ever said anything about grounding!
posted by Mary Ellen at
5:24 PM
4 Comments:
This comment has been removed by the author.
I have a friend who considers herself fairly progressive. One day she was pulled over for speeding and began CRYING! (Uncontrollably, she claims.) The male cop - predictably - got uncomfortable and let her off. I told her her actions single handedly set back women's rights a full 20 years.
Considering how easily Lucy cries over much lesser infractions, I'm glad you didn't have that nugget to share with her.
Loved this post!!!
Almond Joys!!! You mailed me your extra Almond Joys!!! YUMMMMM! I have already eaten six.
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