Wanted: Excellent Childcare, Cute Accent a Plus!
David and I have been toiling over our au pair application. It seems like every question is fraught with peril. For example, is our house "cluttered but comfortable" or "moderately neat"? If we admit the truth, will they send us a slob? Or a girl with her own supply of Fabuloso? Should we say absolutely no to smokers? I don't want anybody to smoke near the babies, especially Josephine, whose horoscope might as well say, "future asthmatic," but I'm no Bloomberg -- do I really care if she wants to have a cigarette on a Saturday night in the city?
And how do we say fun Germans are okay, but not, you know... the OTHER KIND. (And don't even get me started on the South Americans... my eldest sister says her Brazilian cleaning lady mocks her. I say, well, honey, can YOU scrub the bathroom in stilettos? And then I say, no, you're right, I don't want anybody's pity because I'm 35 and the only makeup that I've ever bought is Clinique eyeliner -- blue, 1980s, and brown, 1990s to present.)
Seriously, we don't care where she's from. Not in the least. We just want somebody to love the babies, make funny faces at them, say, "Hello Margaret! Hello Josephine!" and play peekaboo and pattycake. She should make them swoon over sweet potatoes and smooshed peas, take them on strolls and point excitedly to the squirrels, and push them gently in the park swings. Those are first-tier qualties. Less important, but still good, would be somebody who could teach them to sing in harmony, sew clothes out of curtains, and help us all escape across the Alps.
We want Maria Von Trapp!!
And how do we say fun Germans are okay, but not, you know... the OTHER KIND. (And don't even get me started on the South Americans... my eldest sister says her Brazilian cleaning lady mocks her. I say, well, honey, can YOU scrub the bathroom in stilettos? And then I say, no, you're right, I don't want anybody's pity because I'm 35 and the only makeup that I've ever bought is Clinique eyeliner -- blue, 1980s, and brown, 1990s to present.)
Seriously, we don't care where she's from. Not in the least. We just want somebody to love the babies, make funny faces at them, say, "Hello Margaret! Hello Josephine!" and play peekaboo and pattycake. She should make them swoon over sweet potatoes and smooshed peas, take them on strolls and point excitedly to the squirrels, and push them gently in the park swings. Those are first-tier qualties. Less important, but still good, would be somebody who could teach them to sing in harmony, sew clothes out of curtains, and help us all escape across the Alps.
We want Maria Von Trapp!!
posted by Mary Ellen at
6:17 AM
3 Comments:
Oh my God! NOT an au pair!! Don't you watch movies?? Au pairs, especially those with accents, are nothing but trouble. Get an old lady down the block to watch the kids.
Nooooo smokers. Not negotiable! She'll smoke outside, or will smell of it, and will subconsciously be instilling bad habits in them even if she's not smoking in front of them.
Also, I'd avoid blogging au pairs. That can only lead to trouble...
Ack! Don't scare me.
I still can't stop thinking about that British nanny and poor little Matthew! But wait, what if we got a French one? And she dressed the babies in little (non-choking hazard) scarves? As Lucy says, "That be fun?"
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