Mission Impossible
From: M
To: Agents
Re: Trouble on Spy Hill
It is with great regret that I must inform you that Agent 009 has been compromised. On 14:00, 2 Nov 2008, The Woman made a positive visual confirmation of our comrade in arms. Just nose and whiskers, it must be said...but, of course, Agent 009 must be reassigned to another battleground, as soon as his hearing is restored.
This is an unfortunate development for several reasons. One, The Woman had begun to doubt our very existence. Psych ops by The Man, our secret Double Agent in The House, had been so effective that The Woman had nearly been convinced that our extensive tunnel system belonged to chipmunks. (As if! Our idiot cousins couldn't dig a grave!) Consider this: On the day of Agent 009's unfortunate exposure, The Woman was wearing her running shoes without socks -- just inches away from headquarters. Two months ago, she insisted on those ridiculous knee-high rubber boots.
Now, it's likely that The Humans will strike with renewed vigor. I heard The Child ask, "Can Daddy hit them on their backs with Poison Ivy? Then they will die?" (I got chills! What are they developing in their labs??) The Woman is talking about Poison Cookies. Be vigilant, comrades! Do not eat anything that smells good! I am talking to you, Agent 006! Put down the Golden Oreo!
We must expect that The Man will go along with her plans. He is no Philby. But, to date, there appears to be little suspicion around our other secret Double Agent, The Cat. She has effectively tamped down any talk of "Rat Terriers," (good god! doesn't the very name give you the shakes??!) and she should be rewarded with the bodies of chipmunks. Send out cousin Alvin. I am tired of his singing.
Take heart, comrades! We will prevail!
To: Agents
Re: Trouble on Spy Hill
It is with great regret that I must inform you that Agent 009 has been compromised. On 14:00, 2 Nov 2008, The Woman made a positive visual confirmation of our comrade in arms. Just nose and whiskers, it must be said...but, of course, Agent 009 must be reassigned to another battleground, as soon as his hearing is restored.
This is an unfortunate development for several reasons. One, The Woman had begun to doubt our very existence. Psych ops by The Man, our secret Double Agent in The House, had been so effective that The Woman had nearly been convinced that our extensive tunnel system belonged to chipmunks. (As if! Our idiot cousins couldn't dig a grave!) Consider this: On the day of Agent 009's unfortunate exposure, The Woman was wearing her running shoes without socks -- just inches away from headquarters. Two months ago, she insisted on those ridiculous knee-high rubber boots.
Now, it's likely that The Humans will strike with renewed vigor. I heard The Child ask, "Can Daddy hit them on their backs with Poison Ivy? Then they will die?" (I got chills! What are they developing in their labs??) The Woman is talking about Poison Cookies. Be vigilant, comrades! Do not eat anything that smells good! I am talking to you, Agent 006! Put down the Golden Oreo!
We must expect that The Man will go along with her plans. He is no Philby. But, to date, there appears to be little suspicion around our other secret Double Agent, The Cat. She has effectively tamped down any talk of "Rat Terriers," (good god! doesn't the very name give you the shakes??!) and she should be rewarded with the bodies of chipmunks. Send out cousin Alvin. I am tired of his singing.
Take heart, comrades! We will prevail!
posted by Mary Ellen at
5:56 PM
4 Comments:
I had a cricket in my house.
LOL. Awesome!
And godspeed, mighty warrior.
Vermin are everywhere!
Last night we caught three mice in our house. And two of them in the same trap. Which made me a bit melancholy, thinking maybe they had a lovers suicide pact or something.
Missie, I miss your posts! I hope everything's well with you.
I left you an award on my blog, in the hopes to lure you back to posting. And because, you know, I like reading your blog. :)
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