Blood, sweat and spit

Even though I swore that I would NOT take Lucy for her pre-school blood tests -- I've DONE it and it's HORRIBLE and it's her old daddy's turn, I say -- there we were... Sitting in the hospital lab's waiting room, sitting and sitting, while Lucy whimpers, "I don't want my blood taken out, Mommy! Mommy? I don't want my blood taken out!!" Finally we get called in -- and they won't take Aetna! So we get in the car, "But I don't WANT my blood taken, Mommy! Eeeeeeh, aaaaaaah, eeeeeeh. Gasp. Gasp." And we go to Labcorp....where they don't take Aetna. Back in the car! "Mommy! I don't want my blood taken! NOOOO! I'm tired, Mommy. I'm hungry, Mommy. Mommy!!!" I know, honey. I know. And we go to Quest... where she says not one word, not even a sound, while her blood is removed. She is totally silent, and it freaks me out.

Back in the car, "Ohhhhh, my blood hurts!!"

(Speaking of Aetna, they called me last week to introduce me to a new program that promises to manage my chronic health problem. Immediately, I think, "Oh my god. They're going to put me on a diet. Jesus Christ. How do they know how much I weigh? This is creepy! They're evil! And WTF?! I just had twins!! Give me a break!" But I say, "Oh, how nice. How, um, exactly did I get chosen for this??" And the representative of evil says, "Well, it's for people with chronic health problems, like cardiac issues or diabetes, and we select people based on the frequency of claims filed by your doctors." And then I say, "Well, I don't actually go to the doctor much..." Eventually, I realize they think I have a bad heart because I saw a cardiologist so often when I was pregnant with the babies! So I explain to the representative of evil that it's actually Margaret who has a heart issue, and she says, "Ohhhh," and then she dumps me out of their special program! And, I have to say, that annoys me too!)

Meanwhile, we're getting ready for the Opie. (Ha! That's the Au P.) I'm painting her bathroom yellow. It makes me sweat -- because the only light in there is one of those bathroom heat lamps. Anyway, a few nights ago, the local program coordinator came over to interview David and me, and inspect the Opie's quarters. She asked lots of questions and we tried to give good answers. Then, while David and Lucy took her downstairs, I read her notes from the interview. (I know. It's not nice. But what the hell....old habits die hard.) Anyway, she wrote that we were "moderately neat!"

Let me repeat, "Moderately neat!"

I am so proud.

And, that brings me to spit. Tonight, Lucy comes out of her room, post-bedtime books with Daddy-o, and gives me a good-night LICK!!! I said I didn't want one, but she insisted. Yuck.